Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
