everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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