Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
