Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
