it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
