i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
