yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize