she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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