I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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