so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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