So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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