He kissed a someone with a penis
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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