OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
