Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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