i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
