saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
