Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
