I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
