We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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