Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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