You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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