I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
