it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
