At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
