Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is Oprah even human
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
