Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
