she was so not down for the gang bang
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
