It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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