Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
