YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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