Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
