Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
