if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
