Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
