he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
