I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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