So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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