found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
