i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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