Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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