Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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