Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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