I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
where does the pee come out of this thing
she told me i tasted like america
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You are a genius and a whore.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize