Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You are a genius and a whore.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
