you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
