I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
