so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
ok first of all what the fuck
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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