I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
