we're blogging at a bar
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
