I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My bed smells like the plague
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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