you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
