Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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