Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
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