I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
