It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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