Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize