i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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