I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize