she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
