everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
