I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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