First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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