I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
